Counselling

This incorporates all sorts of difficulties relating to sex such as sexual pain; erectile dysfunction; reduced libido; sexual addictions; pornography; to name some. A team approach is sometimes the route to adopt, so other professionals could be involved such as Physiotherapists; Medical Doctors; Urologists.  Difficulties with Sex can be a very private, personal and potentially embarrassing problem, but one that many people struggle with.  With sensitivity and care we can work together to find resolutions that can enhance life, sexual function and pleasure.

Denial, anger, guilt, are all emotions that are frequently felt by those who have experienced any of these losses, and often it is hard to find a place where the pain and the emotions can be expressed and processed.  The counselling room can provide a safe, confidential place where emotions can be explored, and the journey through the pain can be travelled.

Abuse takes many forms. Domestic, Sexual, Verbal and Spiritual abuse.  All cause deep wounds that can impact on our daily lives and cause great pain.  When we explore together the root of the abuse and examine the life choices that have been made and behaviours that have been adopted as a protection from the pain of the abuse, we can then start to work together to change behaviours, thought patterns and other defences and move on into life that is no longer defined by the abuse.

An addiction can be described as a repeated compulsive urge to do something.  This urge, this compulsion is detrimental to a person's wellbeing.  The addiction can be to alcohol, prescription and non-prescription drugs, sex, gambling, and others.  The addiction can affect not only us personally but also our family and friends.  The addictive behaviour can be a form of self-medication in response to an underlying trauma.  Together we can explore the cycle of addictive behaviour and any underlying trauma, and work on techniques to break the patterns and prevent relapse.

Someone has said about self harm "it's like screaming without opening your mouth". There are many ways in which self harm is manifested. Burning, cutting, scratching are a few examples.  People who self harm do tend to be seen as attention seekers but in truth are people who are in deep distress and inner turmoil.   They may find it hard to come and seek help, but those who self harm need to be able to find the right support to work through the deep inner trauma that is being expressed through self harm.  Self harm should not be confused with suicide but those who repeatedly self harm could be more at risk of attempting suicide, so it is important to seek help. Counselling can give that opportunity to "open your mouth and scream".

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry, fear, and can be mild ranging to severe.  There are times when anxiety is perfectly normal.  But sometimes these anxieties can feel out of control and affect everyday life.  Anxiety can also be a symptom of other conditions such as panic disorder, social phobia, post-traumatic stress disorder.  Medication can help with the symptoms, but Cognitive Behavioural strategies have also been found to work well in managing and treating symptoms.  In the counselling room we can work together to find the approach that works best for you.

This is more than feeling fed up for a few days.  This is a persistent feeling; Winston Churchill called it his "black dog". It is not something to simply "snap out of".  Common symptoms include lack of energy, sleeping problems, loss of appetite, and loss of interest in life.  The symptoms are there for most of the day, for most days, and for at least 2 weeks.  Depression can be helped with a combination of approaches, and counselling as one of those approaches can help change negative thinking or deal with significant life events.

People suffering bereavement suffer a whole range of emotions: shock, anger, numbness to name just a few.  There is no timescale for coming through a bereavement, and no two bereavements,  and the response to the bereavements are the same.  The inescapable fact is that we all experience loss at some time in our lives.  That loss may be death of a loved one, but there are many different forms of loss.  We all use different coping strategies to help us cope with the loss. Having someone with whom we can explore and make sense of the situation can bring comfort and help one move forward through the loss.

Marriages, friendships, parents and children, work relationships. They can be hard.  Often communication can be the key, and when communication breaks down misunderstandings, hurt, anger, trust issues can mar the relationship. We can work together to explore the roots of the problem and work to improve communication skills.

Eating disorders are a group of conditions in which one is pre-occupied with food and weight: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating disorder being the main types. In counselling you have the opportunity to explore self- critical thoughts, painful emotions and overwhelming situations.  A collaborative approach working closely with your GP and dietician may be the best way forward.  Together we can explore what works best for you.

Negative and/or difficult childhood experiences; difficult life events; stress and pressure; relationships and expectations; discrimination; isolation; and trauma are amongst the many factors that affect our self-esteem. In the counselling room you will have the opportunity to explore and understand any negative self-beliefs and the roots of those beliefs. Developing practical skills to improve your self esteem.

Living a life of faith does not mean that you are immune from the struggles of life. You can still experience the depths of depression, low self-esteem, anxiety; you can still suffer abuse, marriage breakdown, bereavement and other challenges in life. You can find yourself struggling to see how God’s promises can apply in all the pain; joy, peace and faith can seem out of reach. Counselling from a Christian Perspective gives you the opportunity to explore your situation and emotions through an integrative counselling approach but within the added context of Biblical principles and values.

Within the field of Counselling, Supervision is essential for ethical practice. Supervision provides effective care for Clients and effective self-care for the Counsellor. Supervision benefits Client outcomes and Client satisfaction; Counsellor confidence and skills development. I use the Page and Wosket cyclical model as the foundation to my Supervision but tend to use an Integrative approach overall.